Last Sunday was my first wedding anniversary, this Sunday is the 16th anniversary of the accident.

After 5 years I’ve never been more”locked down” , yet I somehow I feel just as free, independent and more alive than I have since I was a 15 AND able bodied.

Yes, 15.  You have to remember I was “grown” and age was nothing but a number. So by 18 I was wise and experienced way past my age.

At the time of my accident I was finding my way out of an abusive and controlling relationship, that I was in since early February 2004 (I was 15), and focuse on doing me. You know, work, get my high school deploma (yes, I dropped out when I was 17, so I could “move” y’all know I was counted as a runaway.), go to beauty school, hangout with my girls,  get into bullshit and live. Then bang…..

God made me hit that oak tree, to force me to do me.  Some have said that tree hugged me, witnesses said that I was driving along normally, when all of a sudden the SRT4 I bought to flex on my ex t-boned that mighty oak, think I was on my phone, I don’t remember, but why else would my phone have been in the road?

Long story shor, I injured my brain(my neurological impairments are from the right stem), broke five bones  from cheek to pelvis, had internal trama and was in a coma for four months. No, it wasn’t medically induced, I checked out.

Those four months I/ma had the best support group from my work friends.  I had someone by my side around the clock. Family and (new) friends took shifts.

As I mentioned previously I was just getting out of a relationship that started when I was 15,  and really transforming from bad bitch to Miss Independent, I don’t know if that makes sense. Let me explain! I got a job at JCPenny salon front desk shortly after I turned 18 in February and started hanging out with a new crew of woman in their 20s, compared to hanging out with “kids” from the school, I was growing up.

“Work friends” were a blessing to ma, I’m not sure how she would have made it without them,  when it came time to support me I guess it became too much. 

My parents house is 30 miles from the hospital,  as you can imagine after I returned to home the distance became “too far” all the support started to trail off and closest friends have become people I used to work with. 

During that period the only people active  my life were family or therapist, and two of my childhood bestfriends, both had moved out of Florida. One, best friend from kindergarten the calm to my wild, the other my day one, we’ve been walking eachother, yes :I’d walk her home TWO doors down and she’d walk me home,  so I’d HAVE to walk her home then the cycle would continue till one of her older sisters would intervn, since we were 2, the summer of 1990. Shit I’ve known her longer than Dom (hubby) has been alive!

It was me choosing to rebuild my connection with my day-one and distance that caused new friends to become people I used to work with.

Back to ’07 and me doing me.

I was discharged from the hospital in April of 2007 and sent home to figure out how to live with a TBI, which for a while was nothing but therapy and weekly visits from my work friends, who agreed that my life should be nothing but therapy and they had a problem with me trying to live a non therapy life.

By the time I was 21 I had my high school deploma from my home school, which I got online with the help of one of my aunts and dad.

Finally, at 25 I was able to independently transfer and use public bathroom stalls. This meant  I could go on actual dates, no more quick meetings or living room dates being my only options.

My bestfriend from kednagarden the one who suggested I tried POF.  That’s actually where I met Dom. Which didn’t happen till I got my fill of being single. 4 years of dating apps was fun and entertaining, but having my person is so much better.

I have never once wanted to do something that I can’t cause of my relationship with Domonic.  If anything I do more cause of him. 

Example, last weekend we stayed Saturday night in Saint Pete at a Holiday Inn. 

We made a stop on our way to the hotel to visit Dom’s grandma.

The plan was to visit with grandma,  then head to Saint Pete pickup burgers  at a bar we got Groupons for on the to the hotel, then to the hotel.

What happened was…..

We visited with grandma, then Dom took me to the hotel. I had to pee. After we got to the room and I made it to the pot (I have I.C (interstitial cystitis) which causes urgency incotonace, so I can’t hold it for a long time), I told Dom he could leave me at the hotel and get the food.  He left, I finished up in the bathroom, and since we didn’t bring anything to the room and there was nothing for me to do I decided I’d go find someplace to medicate 💨 and start this post, the smoking area is by the pool, it isn’t crowded, I’ll go there!

I park my chair next to the ashtray and take my phone out, text Dom to let him know I left the room and am by the pool, text me when you get back and I’ll meet you at the room. 

After sending hubby text, I light up, the creative juices start flowing, I put out my cone out and start writing.   This is when the sprinkler started making the activating noise.

I thought just my fucking luck, and start to hall ass to the gate……

So invision this, I have left side hemiplegia (my left side is basically paralyzed) and a hemi height wheelchair.  Hemi height is lower, so I’m able to propel and steer  myself with my right arm and foot.  My left foot “usually” sits on a foot rest, if my tone isn’t high, if I’m tired, in pain, or excited my knee extends and leg sticks straightforward.

So here goes Nina left foot extended pointing straight to the gate, right Popeye arm and foot making a getaway.

I reach the gate at the sametime, as a gray haired gentleman who’s wearing  was wearing a FedEx uniform we saw him when we checked in, and says let me get that for you,  he  also holds the door for me to get back in the hotel.  As I’m negotiating my way over the threshold (you know little push, little push, big push), Dom appears in the lobby returning a belboy, FedEx man notices him first and said “there goes your guy, I’ll get him”  I’m thinking that’s not necessary,  I got this as I hear “hey brotha, your partna is looking for you.”

Dom doesn’t rush over to me, he continues to let me do my thing and he wasn’t upset that I left the room and as “with” another male.

See, my ex had me on a “short leash” and if I were to have “done some shit like that” it would have been a fight, and cops would have been called. “You couldn’t sit in the room and wait for me?” AND “who’s your friend?” not “good looking out?” AND depending on FedEx man’s response to the shit I have would have talked back to my ex and the scene we would have made only Lord knows…….

Sorry guys, this time of year always makes me think of the past and the paths that I’ve walked, and what has led me to this point: 34 preparing to celebrate my 16th survival day.