This week, I’m having my 4th organ (gallbladder) removed. It’ll be done laparoscopicly/through my bellybutton.

5th* organ. Wisdom teeth are considered vestigial organs!  1. Tonsils 2. Wisdom teeth 3. Appendix 4. Spleen 5. Gallbladder

I wonder why this will be my first laparoscopic procedure.

According to Wikipedia, it wasn’t until the 2010s that surgical practice has increasingly moved towards routinely offering laparoscopic.

No wonder I had my appendix removed in 2001 and had exploratory surgery/spleenectomy in  2006.  The surgeries I’ve had since laparoscopic has been routine, were orthopedic. Oh, and I had a muscle relaxer pump implanted and later removed, from my right lower back.

Story time (then I’ll get back to my upcoming surgery).

When I was 13, I flew to spend a few weeks in with my aunt in Pennsylvania. During this time, I had this pain on my right side.  Automatically, I notified my aunt, who called ma…….  see, ma’s appendix ruptured when she was 2 or 3, damn near everyone in ma’s family has had appendicitis, within a few hours pain had worsened and Tony (cousin) was driving my aunt and I to his pediatrician to find out it was my appendix.

Within 48 hours I was being wheeled into surgery saying “not without my mother” as ma and my 2 year old brother,  DJ, came running down the hall behind me, ma yelling “I’m here honey, go.” 

The day ended with me, at my aunts with staples in my side.

That recovery was…….  long and painful.

Second surgery that could and should have been done laparoscopicly, if it wasn’t done in ‘prehistorictimes2006’, it definitely would have eliminated complications, and I wouldn’t have this big ass scar.

After I crashed my car into an oak tree, I had internal bleeding,  so at ORMC (this hospital now is big with offering laparoscopic) they cut me from just under my ribs to just above my bikini area, right through  my bellybutton.

It gets better. When they removed the staples, I hadn’t healed properly, so the insesion opened.

All I know is if I weren’t in a coma and I saw my belly wide open, they would have had to sedated me, cause I would have lost my shit.

They did this process where they packed my wound/stomach with wet and dry gauze to make my gapping stomach wound close on its own.

Just imagine how thick the scar is running down my tummy. This had me mentally preparing myself not to be a candidate for a laparoscopic cholecystectomy (that’s the medical name for the operation to remove the gallbladder.) See, I read if you have a history of abdominal surgery, you are not a candidate for laparoscopic.

With an open cholecystectomy, you’re looking at a 3-5 night hospital stay followed up with a 6-8 month recovery time. A laparoscopic cholecystectomy is an outpatient procedure with a 4-6 week recovery time.

You wouldn’t believe my relief after speaking with Dr. Freeland (general surgeon) and finding out he has experience with performing laparoscopic procedures on “hostile abdomens” (abdomen that have been operated on) and is 99% sure he won’t have to cut me open and he’ll be able to pull it out via my jacked up bellybutton.

Laparoscopic cholecystectomy is scheduled Thursday, May 4 at Dr. Phillips Hospital.   This procedure is outpatient and ordanarly performed at a surgery center, Dr Freeland offered to operate at the hospital, so I’d be at peace knowing the hospital is equipped to deal with complications.

Friday was preop at Dr. Phillips Hospital, that appointment was easy, just filling out a paper and going over my answers/medical history.

I left that appointment praying that nurse made the proper notations, so ma will be present post-op before they try to get me to walk…..

Y’all won’t believe this…….

After I had my left ankle fused, they expected me to stand up and turn completely around to change beds. That type of transfer there’s no way not to put full weight on BOTH your feet. I told them, “No, I can’t, get my mother.” Lazy ass nurses tried telling me, “There’s no reason that you can’t do this transfer. Everyone does. ” I was so confused, thinking my therapist told me not to attempt this type of transfer without someone who is trained.  I knew I was at a  hospital, so these people should know what they are doing, but “not without my mother” was my response to their transfer demands.

Finally, ma arrived to tell them, “No, she can’t transfer. You’ll have to transfer her.”

And that’s exactly what they did.

You know how you get transported to the operation room from preop, unconscious and laying on a bed, and they transfer you with the sheet?  Yea, they did that. I refused to attempt to transfer till I was working with a pt (physical therapist) who was away of my enability to stand on my right leg and keeping my left foot off the ground.

Ma and I were on the same page (about refusing to transfer, the hospital pt  actually wouldn’t discharge me, till i learned how to transfer, which i couldn’t do, unless someone held my left leg to keep my knee bent) which I thank God I had that lady on my side. We had to explain to multiple medical professionals exactly why me transferring was a dangerous idea.

My getting irritated by this and being ‘difficult’ was mislabeled as a negative reaction to the anesthesia.

I doubt I’ll see that nurse again,  so I’m praying she registered me as being non ablitory with a speech impediment.

I’ll let you know how it goes. Promise to post a post-op update by Thursday night. If I’m God for bid, unable to publish something, I’ll ask Dom to.