I’m anxious AF, as I “patiently” wait for my makeup kit.

Back story: when I was 18, end of 2006 and preparing to go to Paul Mitchell The School Orlando, I got in a car accident, injured my brain. Which has caused physical impairments (dysarthria a speech impediment and hemiplegia: paralysis of the left side of my body), and me to write off my life calling thinking it would be too much for my body.

Flash forward to March 2024, kid bro and his fiancé found a venue for their wedding 1-17-25, and I’m doing ma’s makeup.

I “needed” to see this palette looks on ma. Urban Decay Naked Heat: that’s the palette I’m using for myself, I’ll be wearing emerald green, Z asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. I was excited to see how warm it would make ma look.

So I’ve ALREADY did ma’s first wedding look trail.

As I was preparing for ma’s makeover I’m telling Dom about how I wanted to be a makeup artist, I was ready to start at Paul Mitchell, then boom.

He’s response was what I needed to hear: “What’s stopping you, now?”

I shrugged him off and responded my body 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Didn’t Papi call me on my bullshit, and ask when haven’t you found your way?

Now I’m enrolled in Online Makeup Academy Elite Program, that’s the top program, it’s basic and advanced in one. Your girl is going to be an influencer. Dom will edit my photos and videos. Yes, videos 🫣, and I’ll eventually be taking appointments for makeup up makeovers/lessons, for now I’m looking for volunteer models, comment if interested.

I won us a session with Rebecca Rose Fine Portraits, on IG they were looking for couples with a story. I told them how we’re biracial and interabled and gave them my mix (Italian and Mexican) and stats (5″4, 150) disabled blogger, in comparison to my massive black husband (6″1 350).

Of course I won.

The first weekend opening wasn’t till May, so I’ll have time to perfect my makeup, of course I’ll get Yzabella a/my tutor to critic my look.

Yzabella sent me a video welcoming me and introducing herself, so I messaged her back to brief her on my situation and see if she has any suggestions for a one handed artist, she suggested I use a makeup belt and I’m transparent with my customer and she’s sure they’ll give me a hand. I like her. 😊

Let’s see what else?

I’ll be doing my eval on Expressable online with a remote SLP (speech-language pathologist= speech therapist).

It sure sounds like shit is really going good for me, right?

Yea sure, till you flip that blade, my dad has covid, something is wrong with my hip AND I’m not currently seeing a physical therapist.

Oh yea I haven’t told y’all how often I’ve had to call out from therapy!

February till mid March the whole goddamn alphabet was attacking me!

Let me explain: my cycle is extremely irregular, but my PMS tends to follow a 28 day cycle. So at the end of every freaking month, cue the PMS: cramps, NSYNC makes me cry, the alphabet attacks= IC (Interstitial cystitis (in-tur-STISH-ul sis-TIE-tis) is a chronic condition causing bladder pressure, bladder pain and sometimes pelvic pain. The pain ranges from mild discomfort to severe pain. The condition is a part of a spectrum of diseases known as painful bladder syndrome.), IBS (Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) is a common disorder that affects the stomach and intestines, also called the gastrointestinal tract. Symptoms include cramping, abdominal pain, bloating, gas, and diarrhea or constipation, or both. IBS is a chronic condition that you’ll need to manage long term.), and some how my freaking TBI (tramatic brain injury) flares: my muscles get more spastic and everything hurts, and I start talking about a sex change, poor Dom.

Last week I finally got my period, after what, 2 pregnancies tests.

This week, I thought nothing was going to hold me back. I have a wedding to prepare for. I was wrong. The alphabet is still fuckin’ with me. 🙄

COVID! Papa has COVID, I’m worried about him, which adds to my anxiety. So cue the alphabet, oh as if my pelvic area wasn’t irritated enough, my left hip joins the attack.

Oh yea, I have a bad hip. It started a couple weeks ago. Yasmin evaluated it and diagnosed it as tightness from sitting and told me to heat and t stretch. Well since the last time I’ve seen Yasmin it’s changed. It now feels like a nerve is being pinched and my foot gets numb. I have to take off my polish, so I can keep a better eye on my circulation. I don’t want to loose my leg. By the end of the day it feels like my leg is ready to amputate, and I’ve turned to my emotional support song (DMX: Slippin’, come I gots to get up).

Okay Nina, you messaged your PCP (primary care physician) hip needs imaging and you need to see a nutritionist and possibly a psychologist.

Flipping your focus on the positive, your makeup kit comes tomorrow, but that means unboxing video🫣. I got this. Happy Easter y’all🥰.